The deepest trauma The deepest wound. My wound, your wound, Was the first.

<br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT7MqqTiOSf7twvdC2WDsmU5OF73s7tBjzK6xis8yNuCi8HveXFxxJfApU08iuZDDCbeKl-XYJiR2gEc9VdYVj8oTE-5G7R_pD6ErtLnorDl2fqbOMReVpJYuwZid0UnYEBxc4uBY7llh7/s1600/Connected89.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="167" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT7MqqTiOSf7twvdC2WDsmU5OF73s7tBjzK6xis8yNuCi8HveXFxxJfApU08iuZDDCbeKl-XYJiR2gEc9VdYVj8oTE-5G7R_pD6ErtLnorDl2fqbOMReVpJYuwZid0UnYEBxc4uBY7llh7/s200/Connected89.jpg" width="200" /></a></div> <div> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">The deepest wound.<br />My wound, your wound,<br />Was the first, the most cutting,<br />The damage done,<br />Before we even knew who we were.<br /><br />Just starting to look out,<br />To relate, to feel love,<br />Ready and willing to feel<br />The love we arrived with.<br /><br />Born with so much love within,<br />And ready to receive<br />All the love in the world,<br />A gift from love to love and back again.<br /><br />We the unprotected, the vulnerable,<br />The innocent, the naïve,<br />The trusting, the powerless,<br />Without a defense, without a guard.<br /><br />Ready, available, naked,<br />Then the cut, the hurt, the wounding.<br />We never saw it coming,<br />And never knew when it was done.<br /><br />Our experience is our “normal.”<br />That is how it is,<br />Without questioning, without realizing, without knowing<br />That it was wrong, that it hurt,<br />That it was permanent.<br /><br />We thought we were born in love.<br />That was all we came with,<br />Open, available, unconditional loving beings.<br />But we were in harm’s way,<br />Innocent little children,<br />Willing to suffer without knowing what suffering is.<br /><br />Willing to receive whatever came our way,<br />Taking the pain of rejection and indifference,<br />Of control and training without being seen or known,<br />With acceptance, without complaint.<br /><br />We were struck down,<br />Not knowing that we were with assassins<br />Who took our hearts from us<br />And tore into them without regard.<br /><br />We forgive them, the wrongdoers,<br />For they know not what they do.<br />We blame ourselves:<br />We should have been different,<br />Easier and no trouble.<br />Oh, how I tried to be that.<br /><br />If only we were different somehow,<br />Then our natural loving selves would have survived<br />The confusion, mistrust and disappointment,<br />And the innocence that was taken, gone forever.<br /><br />When our indestructible selves were under attack,<br />And starved or given conditional love or no love at all,<br />It was time to do something:<br />Defend, attack, scream;<br />Adapt, withdraw, comply, suppress;<br />As we tried to make it all alright.<br /><br />It was time to recreate someone new.<br />We adapted and made ourselves better than we were,<br />More acceptable and more lovable, perhaps,<br />If that were even possible—<br />People who might get what they came for.<br /><br />My false self, my fake identity,<br />I always thought that was me.<br />I tried to be the person I thought I should be,<br />And thought that was me.<br /><br />Now, surely, the love will come.<br />I tried so hard to be the person<br />That I thought you wanted,<br />That I wanted to be.<br />But no one ever did love my false self,<br />Not even me.<br /><br />So I failed and the love didn’t come,<br />Not way back when I was my natural self,<br />And not when I changed into somebody else.<br />What more could I have done?<br /><br />I’ll be whatever you need me to be<br />To earn your love.<br />I’ll submit to you and kiss your feet,<br />If that’s what it takes<br />To make the not-OK feel OK.<br /><br />I’ll be someone who pleases you,<br />So that you delight in me.<br />I’ll have no needs of my own,<br />Never a trouble to you.<br /><br />Whatever you need me to be,<br />I’ll pretend to be that.<br />I promise to heal your deepest wound,<br />And then you can pretend to heal the wound of the pretend-me.<br /><br />If what I am isn’t enough,<br />I’ll try and try, again and again,<br />Or tell you that you are wrong,<br />And you should change.<br /><br />Can you be enough to heal my deepest wound?<br />I’ll dance and sing for you,<br />And make you laugh out loud.<br />I’ll cry, plead and beg,<br />Or be very, very good.<br /><br />I’ll act as if you were my mother.<br />To you, I’ll be your father,<br />Playing the past out,<br />Unconsciously projecting and transferring<br />Over and over again.<br /><br />I’ll be upset and angry.<br />Perhaps that will work.<br />I’ll control you,<br />And make you into what I want.<br /><br />Be what I need,<br />And I’ll be what you need.<br />We can be two created false selves,<br />Trying to heal who we thought we were.<br /><br />I am a damaged child,<br />And so are you.<br />It is where we start and end,<br />Or so we think.<br /><br />But we were not born that way,<br />That is not how we began.<br />Innocent little beings,<br />Ready for love to flow,<br />Adorable little things, just perfect as we were.<br /><br />Who are we now?<br />Not who we thought we were,<br />But my damaged child believes in itself,<br />And wants your love.<br /><br />I’ll give you all the love you need,<br />But it will never work out,<br />As my false self tries to heal your “damaged child,”<br />And wishes for your false self to heal me.<br /><br />We the survivors, one and all,<br />Have adapted and recreated ourselves.<br />We knew not what we did,<br />But did what we had to do.<br /><br />It was the only way<br />To live among the damage-doers,<br />As we found our place in the generational line<br />Of damage done to damage-doers,<br />For that’s what we become.<br /><br />For all of us<br />Are damaged children,<br />And the first cut<br />Was the deepest.<br /><br />The first cut was the most profound,<br />For it told us who we were,<br />Unworthy of the love that was our birthright,<br />As we assumed it was all normal<br />And that we were not.<br /><br />That early damage changed me for life,<br />Making me believe I was not OK,<br />I was too much, and not normal,<br />So I changed as I tried to be “normal enough”<br />For those who made me feel not so,<br />Not seeing that it was they who were not.<br /><br />They never did notice what they did,<br />And they never changed,<br />For they were already not who they really were,<br />And carried their deepest wound, too.<br /><br />The unloved, wounded child,<br />Carried along for life,<br />Never knowing what it is to be loved,<br />To be loved for no reason at all,<br />Just for the way he [or she] is.<br /><br />Who I was wasn’t loved,<br />So I changed and then found<br />That what I became wasn’t loved, either.<br />They didn’t even notice how I changed,<br />And there was no bonus love for effort.<br /><br />I changed as best I could,<br />But that was rejected too.<br />Love didn’t come, and it was my fault,<br />But there was nothing more I could do.<br /><br />They didn’t have the love they came in with,<br />Gone long before I arrived,<br />And I thought it was all because of me,<br />That they really had something I could get,<br />If only I could figure it all out.<br />But all along the bank was empty.</span><br /> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">What I have made myself into<br />Is not free to love you.<br />I give because I want,<br />And what I want, you don’t have.<br /><br />I am a wounded self who has forgotten who I am,<br />Trying to love another wounded self<br />Who has forgotten who she is,<br />Trying to love me back.<br /><br />All selves are made up in one way or another,<br />But that is not who we are.<br />We are the baby that came out of the womb:<br />Open, innocent, not seeking or wanting;<br />And not lacking, nor experiencing neglect.<br /><br /><br /></span><br /> <blockquote class="tr_bq"> <i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">It is the baby who is unconditionally loving,</span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">Born to be itself just as it is,</span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">Accepting whatever comes its way,</span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">Without knowing what it wants.</span></i></blockquote> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br />An infant doesn’t tell its parents how to be,<br />Or what they should do.<br />It doesn’t make them wrong or criticize,<br />Or think it knows best.<br />They are free to do whatever they do.<br /><br />So I open myself to you,<br />And willingly receive what you have,<br />Including the demands of your wounded heart,<br />And who you think you should be,<br />And I bring the same to you.<br /><br />There is no need for us to hide<br />Our innocence and our natural, loving hearts,<br />Each heart ready and willing to love and be loved,<br />Because that is what we were born to do.<br /><br />My heart was born to do the same as yours,<br />So how are we going to do that?<br />Let’s love all aspects of ourselves.<br />Let’s love our trying and failing.<br /><br />Let’s love our false selves,<br />The selves that we are not.<br />Let’s love the part of ourselves that is quietly calling for love,<br />And the part that thinks it should be unconditionally loving.<br /><br />Let’s connect with who we really are,<br />Loving hearts with no agenda,<br />No demands or expectations or hopes,<br />And no trying to be what we think the other wants.<br /><br />Let’s be with what we truly are:<br />Nothing to do, nowhere to go,<br />Just here now, as we are,<br />Me accepting of you and of myself,<br />And you accepting of me and yourself.<br /><br />I love you because I do,<br />With all my heart,<br />For no reason and with no agenda,<br />Because that is what I was born to do.<br /><br />I can only love you when I feel love for myself,<br />And then I don’t need you to do that for me.<br />When I feel my love for me,<br />The love is felt for you,<br />And then back again.<br /><br />I can’t love you without loving me,<br />Because that would be fake.<br />I can’t love me and then not love you.<br />To think that is even possible would be a mistake.<br /><br />I want you to love you, and also me,<br />Without the effort of trying,<br />Of planning and thinking,<br />Without having a job to do.<br /><br />You don’t have to be good enough for me,<br />Because you were never not so.<br />How could you be?<br />When all that you are is everything,<br />When what you are is me.<br /><br />Let’s love, and be done with the trying.<br />Let’s allow in the love we thought we didn’t deserve.<br />Let’s be done with trying to be what we think the other wants,<br />In the hopeless hope that we will then earn a love that was always free.<br /><br />Free to love with nothing to fix<br />And nothing to mend,<br />For we were never broken,<br />And now all that can end.<br /><br />Let’s just allow ourselves to love<br />And to be loved for no particular reason,<br />Getting what we came for,<br />And doing what we were born to do.</span><br /> <div> <br /></div> </div>

The deepest trauma The deepest wound. My wound, your wound, Was the first.

The deepest wound. My wound, your wound, Was the first, the most cutting, The damage done, Before we even knew who we were. Just startin...

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We will find cases of children acting as if they did not belong in their families.

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzgjhR2S88m6bE7amdPVrAkGTHEuW2wBBmzYVZKpZhcjiFcpmNblqgyb7JJ1JJ5IyPaJpvB8DNzaqWfsDQIPgdVr-TwpZ_Wlp_92AH2dCHPUAxs-jR5WZekmq5EEUGagwkC9Ar2i8uY62F/s1600/zen+child+within64.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="118" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzgjhR2S88m6bE7amdPVrAkGTHEuW2wBBmzYVZKpZhcjiFcpmNblqgyb7JJ1JJ5IyPaJpvB8DNzaqWfsDQIPgdVr-TwpZ_Wlp_92AH2dCHPUAxs-jR5WZekmq5EEUGagwkC9Ar2i8uY62F/s320/zen+child+within64.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">Orthodox theory conceives human personality as the product of a person's genetic material inherited from his ancestors through his parents, and the modifying influences of his prenatal and postnatal environment. But we have found that some cases cannot be satisfactorily explained by genetics, environmental influences, or a combination of these. We are speaking of such things as early childhood phobias, about uncanny abilities that seem to develop spontaneously, of children convinced that they are the wrong sex, congenital deformities, differences between one-egg twins, and even such matters as irrational food preferences.we’ve directly linked the phobias and addictions of children to traumas that transpired in the lives of people these children claim to have been. Are we talking about aspects of their personalities that heredity does not explain?</span><br /> <div> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div> <div> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"> We will find cases of children acting as if they did not belong in their families. They treat parents and siblings with indifference, even hostility. This phenomenon is usually thought to have been caused by infantile trauma. Some theorists even try to explain it as the result of parents rejecting the child--before it has been born. Researchers look to the parents for the first cause. Comparatively little attention is given to the child, even though there is evidence that some children reject their parents before the parents have a chance to reject them. We suggest that such behaviour could result from unhappy experiences in a previous life. We cannot emphasise too strongly that a child who is going to remember a previous life has only about three years in which he will talk about it. Before the age of two or three he lacks the ability. After five, too much else will be happening in his life, and he will begin to forget. We don't believe in the watchmaker God, the original creator who built the watch and then lets it tick. We believe in a "Self-maker God" who is evolving and experimenting; so are we as parts of Him. Bodies wear out; souls may need periods for rest and reflection. Afterward one may start again with a new body.Recently, a small number of psychologists and philosophers have begun to ask whether mind can ever be fully explained in terms of brain functioning. Precognition is just a clearer idea of a possible future. Imagine a person in a canoe paddling down a river. Around the corner are rapids he doesn't see. Someone on the cliff above, seeing the whole river, can see what's likely to happen to that person. At any point, of course, the canoeist might pull over to the bank. He doesn't have to go over the rapids.<br /><br />What is interesting about precognition, telepathy is the number or people who believe they've had at least one experience: between ten and seventeen percent in the United Slates and Great Britain, according to some surveys. Most can be put down to coincidence, suppressed memories, or any number of plausible explanations. You can discount ninety-five percent of these cases; but for an impressive number there is no natural explanation. Present understanding of our brains leaves no room for these phenomena. In Memories, Dreams, and Reflections, Carl Jung wrote that as a boy he remembered in great detail being a very old man in the eighteenth century.</span><br /> <div> <form action="https://www.facebook.com/ajax/ufi/modify.php" class="commentable_item" data-ft="{"tn":"]"}" id="u_0_1x" method="post" rel="async" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> <div class="_sa_ _5vsi _ca7 _192z" style="color: #90949c; margin-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 4px; position: relative;"> <div class="_37uu"> <div data-reactroot=""> <div class="_3399 _a7s clearfix" style="border-top-color: rgb(229, 229, 229); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; clear: both; margin: 0px 12px; padding-top: 4px; zoom: 1;"> <div class="_524d"> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </form> </div> </div>

We will find cases of children acting as if they did not belong in their families.

Orthodox theory conceives human personality as the product of a person's genetic material inherited from his ancestors through his p...

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GATZO is the release of our repressed mental repository our full palette of creativity, authenticity, and originality.

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4Jok6SDFdeFwAzQIB5VErGwxjXqCj08iPPD-5MLslBwX5U28fZwNytwSR47l_5ZDDhlvqAGHUDc6UHuVje_4jcMWf9ci2DLoLuy8Qi12HwamTuRcN8ENlBjOgLPE04PKby9JHNBaqT1g/s1600/1-INTULEXIA.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4Jok6SDFdeFwAzQIB5VErGwxjXqCj08iPPD-5MLslBwX5U28fZwNytwSR47l_5ZDDhlvqAGHUDc6UHuVje_4jcMWf9ci2DLoLuy8Qi12HwamTuRcN8ENlBjOgLPE04PKby9JHNBaqT1g/s320/1-INTULEXIA.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <span style="background-color: white; color: #555555; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: medium; line-height: 28.8px;">GATZO is the release of our repressed mental repository our full palette of creativity, authenticity, and originality. These gifts were not welcomed in an emotionally constricted family or society. So when the pain of unresolved traumas comes out, so too do our positive gifts into our GATZO MOMENTS.GATZO flows directly from our released perfect child within it is the uncontaminated freeing of health and complete happiness that free children experience and it frees us now as we complete the ten stages, We once more become creative and powerful.</span><br /> <div class="zemanta-related" style="clear: both; margin-top: 20px; overflow: hidden;"> <h4 class="zemanta-related-title"> Related articles</h4> <ul class="zemanta-article-ul zemanta-article-ul-image" style="margin: 0; overflow: hidden; padding: 0;"> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://frasertrevor.blogspot.com/2015/05/our-natural-child-within-state-is.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/344860634_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://frasertrevor.blogspot.com/2015/05/our-natural-child-within-state-is.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Our natural child within state is relaxed, open, unbounded, and unconditionally connected to life.</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/11/introducing-small-doable-daily-creative.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/364124628_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/11/introducing-small-doable-daily-creative.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Introducing a small, doable daily creative meditation into our child within practice</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/06/meditation-encourages-us-to-soften.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/349865343_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; 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width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://recoverystages.blogspot.com/2015/04/you-must-learn-to-trust-your-inner.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">You must learn to trust your inner calling right now.</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://intuitivevoices.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-path-to-recovery-is-highly.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/336854378_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://intuitivevoices.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-path-to-recovery-is-highly.html" style="background-image: none; 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GATZO is the release of our repressed mental repository our full palette of creativity, authenticity, and originality.

GATZO is the release of our repressed mental repository our full palette of creativity, authenticity, and originality. These gifts were ...

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We begin to sense that we have lost our way and our child hidden within.

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <blockquote class="tr_bq"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxktpNUuZp2ATZsh4GxKSy54WK4819uvDnjzXVDDa_w-mdn1MThuNLO_D80MLZwmQ1RPuzC6bZbRQOLVG3QWbzeDdQXOp5GnUV_hq0gGuQRBXotkb4QhDFEuibXGOIb5TP3KxVGvWDdyM/s1600/1-FotorWITHIN.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxktpNUuZp2ATZsh4GxKSy54WK4819uvDnjzXVDDa_w-mdn1MThuNLO_D80MLZwmQ1RPuzC6bZbRQOLVG3QWbzeDdQXOp5GnUV_hq0gGuQRBXotkb4QhDFEuibXGOIb5TP3KxVGvWDdyM/s320/1-FotorWITHIN.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">As we complete the ten stages we awaken with shock at the devastating impact of our traumatisation, and to the costs of our dissociations. We see with heartbreak the decimation of relationships and our original family. We realise with horror that they never grew into their full, conscious capacity, but instead remained wounded, troubled children who were easy to exploit and ready to exploit in turn. And so we rebel, but wildly, unconsciously. We see that our unconscious child within has not only poisoned the planet but poisoned every new generation we mindlessly create. Awakened to this nightmare, we scream with protests and movements of various kinds to stop social deception. As we fight to heal our outer world we begin to heal our inner world—and step toward inner, integrated truth. We begin to sense that we have lost our way and our child hidden within. We seek a better way of being recovered. And as we become increasingly conscious, we start to evolve into a new, true, and sustainable life.</span></blockquote> <div> <span style="background-color: white; color: #555555; font-family: "open sans" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div> <div id="related-posts" style="background-color: white; color: #555555; font-family: 'open sans', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> </div> <div class="zemanta-related" style="clear: both; margin-top: 20px; overflow: hidden;"> <h4 class="zemanta-related-title"> Related articles</h4> <ul class="zemanta-article-ul zemanta-article-ul-image" style="margin: 0; overflow: hidden; padding: 0;"> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/12/if-we-have-have-not-healed-our.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/364124575_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/12/if-we-have-have-not-healed-our.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">If we have have not healed our conflicts from our childhood we have a propensity for violence</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://recoverystages.blogspot.com/2015/06/dreams-are-royal-road-to-unconscious.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/348540539_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://recoverystages.blogspot.com/2015/06/dreams-are-royal-road-to-unconscious.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Dreams are the royal road to the unconscious</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagescommunity.blogspot.com/2015/04/self-doubt-is-painful-and-unpleasant.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/336854325_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagescommunity.blogspot.com/2015/04/self-doubt-is-painful-and-unpleasant.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Self-doubt is painful and unpleasant, but valuable.</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagescommunity.blogspot.com/2015/04/as-you-grow-stronger-our-self-doubt.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/336854322_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagescommunity.blogspot.com/2015/04/as-you-grow-stronger-our-self-doubt.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">As you grow stronger our self-doubt will weaken.</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://galatictours.blogspot.com/2014/06/we-often-think-that-it-is-function-of.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/279069598_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://galatictours.blogspot.com/2014/06/we-often-think-that-it-is-function-of.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">We often think that it is the function of a spiritual teaching to provide answers to life's biggest questions</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/05/recovery-that-overused-and-often.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/341832996_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/05/recovery-that-overused-and-often.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Recovery, that overused and often distorted word, is the dissolution of the unconscious.</a></li> </ul> </div>

We begin to sense that we have lost our way and our child hidden within.

As we complete the ten stages we awaken with shock at the devastating impact of our traumatisation, and to the costs of our dissociatio...

Read more »

We admit that we do have a child within that can heal and regain control over our life

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizB-Y1TRzABf2Fbe1zWVLLs_9Tla8hnE7vLqAcXfhtpCAfbXZyuf94YSWf6zggdAn75Ajp5Wc-Yp0deLJe56Mfcm0Ib8ZycIVmp4heNB0DRw6me18CZsLll8dr3_gHeuOe5CfTsox8LtE/s1600/1-crack+mirror.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizB-Y1TRzABf2Fbe1zWVLLs_9Tla8hnE7vLqAcXfhtpCAfbXZyuf94YSWf6zggdAn75Ajp5Wc-Yp0deLJe56Mfcm0Ib8ZycIVmp4heNB0DRw6me18CZsLll8dr3_gHeuOe5CfTsox8LtE/s1600/1-crack+mirror.jpg" /></a></div> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">We admit that we do have a child within that can heal and regain control over our life, and that this  reason – all of my unresolved childhood traumas! – that my life has become so disturbed and dysfunctional. We admit that the root of our problem is all the trauma we experienced as a child and cannot acknowledge, and that’s why we come to The Ten Stages of True Recovery. </span><br /> <div class="zemanta-related" style="clear: both; margin-top: 20px; overflow: hidden;"> <h4 class="zemanta-related-title"> Related articles</h4> <ul class="zemanta-article-ul zemanta-article-ul-image" style="margin: 0; overflow: hidden; padding: 0;"> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://frasertrevor.blogspot.com/2015/06/every-30-years-or-so-in-recovery-we.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/346249287_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://frasertrevor.blogspot.com/2015/06/every-30-years-or-so-in-recovery-we.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Every 30 Years or So in Recovery We Experience These Gigantic Steps Forward. and the Ten Stages May Well Be It.. .</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://socialpsychologists.blogspot.com/2015/06/the-ten-stages-is-natural-process-and.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/347418931_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://socialpsychologists.blogspot.com/2015/06/the-ten-stages-is-natural-process-and.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">The Ten Stages is a natural process, and there is an emotional logic to it.</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stageforum.blogspot.com/2015/08/the-most-important-thing-for-us-at.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/356599968_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stageforum.blogspot.com/2015/08/the-most-important-thing-for-us-at.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">The most important thing for us at the stages is that we are allowed to affirm that our child within</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://intuitivecontact.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-ten-stages-by-dis-engaging-from.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/337874062_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://intuitivecontact.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-ten-stages-by-dis-engaging-from.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">The Ten Stages by dis-engaging from identification with the stream of thought objects, a space is created for awareness of the intuitive voice to shine forth unobstructed.</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stageforum.blogspot.com/2015/11/one-of-biggest-question-at-ten-stages.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/364068842_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stageforum.blogspot.com/2015/11/one-of-biggest-question-at-ten-stages.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">One of the biggest question at the ten stages is</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/08/the-basis-of-recovery-in-ten-stages-is.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/356892461_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/08/the-basis-of-recovery-in-ten-stages-is.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">The basis of recovery in ten stages is understanding, not blame, guilt or shame.</a></li> </ul> </div>

We admit that we do have a child within that can heal and regain control over our life

We admit that we do have a child within that can heal and regain control over our life, and that this  reason – all of my unresolved child...

Read more »

Fantasies of being rescued or being the rescuer abound. Knights, dragons, romance novels- getting high from fantasy becomes habit.

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsDcyz4Sba31fL6KppxpR1zaMY82AKOMGa7j9SdnsVkH04OV5Zv3o7LFGKtdGiJtFeNNDE8NieI735q3cN_xJ5IiX0owi23x0WMvm6F_TSHyTMyT_NGjuBlFcrKOafob-XbBulZLjp84f-/s1600/JS+Batman+Robin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="251" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsDcyz4Sba31fL6KppxpR1zaMY82AKOMGa7j9SdnsVkH04OV5Zv3o7LFGKtdGiJtFeNNDE8NieI735q3cN_xJ5IiX0owi23x0WMvm6F_TSHyTMyT_NGjuBlFcrKOafob-XbBulZLjp84f-/s320/JS+Batman+Robin.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <span style="background-color: white; color: #555555; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: medium; line-height: 28.8px;">We compensated for lack of nurturing as a child by immersing ourselves in fantasy. Fantasies of being rescued or being the rescuer abound. Knights, dragons, romance novels- getting high from fantasy becomes habit.</span>

Fantasies of being rescued or being the rescuer abound. Knights, dragons, romance novels- getting high from fantasy becomes habit.

We compensated for lack of nurturing as a child by immersing ourselves in fantasy. Fantasies of being rescued or being the rescuer abound....

Read more »

We compensated for lack of nurturing as a child by immersing ourselves in fantasy

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8C6lWJViG-I5nZQB-FULadmSohLGgaT6oGZC6yWwWB8d4OmtRcbEr3XQIP1X2eOdeiieDuyqdq2zaTCx1jjTWalNIW-Jny7gpzlZWUvsfiav17uijsjwtDKI6ZlK7qvb56pdV6Fhnbxtv/s1600/zen+child+within64.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="118" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8C6lWJViG-I5nZQB-FULadmSohLGgaT6oGZC6yWwWB8d4OmtRcbEr3XQIP1X2eOdeiieDuyqdq2zaTCx1jjTWalNIW-Jny7gpzlZWUvsfiav17uijsjwtDKI6ZlK7qvb56pdV6Fhnbxtv/s320/zen+child+within64.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">We compensated for lack of nurturing as a child by immersing ourselves in fantasy. Fantasies of being rescued or being the rescuer abound. Knights, dragons, romance novels- getting high from fantasy becomes habit.<br /><br />When we play with fantasy, we can get high in about 10 minutes, and stay there for 2-3 hours. Endorphins are released into their system, relieving emotional pain and alienating our child within further.<br /><br />We begin relationships by trying too hard to please and connect. We are driven to find someone to tell us that we are loveable and loved; to find someone who will rescue us from our inability to care for ourselves; rescue us from their loneliness, emptiness of our childhood, lack of self-love, inability to feel safe in the world without someone to protect us. We look for a relationship to make us feel whole and abandon our child within once more.</span><br /> <div class="zemanta-related" style="clear: both; margin-top: 20px; overflow: hidden;"> <h4 class="zemanta-related-title"> Related articles</h4> <ul class="zemanta-article-ul zemanta-article-ul-image" style="margin: 0; overflow: hidden; padding: 0;"> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://galatictours.blogspot.com/2013/06/romance-addicts-do-not-live-in-vacuum.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/175663153_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://galatictours.blogspot.com/2013/06/romance-addicts-do-not-live-in-vacuum.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Romance addicts do not live in a vacuum.</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://galatictours.blogspot.com/2013/06/bizarre-acting-out-behaviors-are-often.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/175699782_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://galatictours.blogspot.com/2013/06/bizarre-acting-out-behaviors-are-often.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Bizarre acting-out behaviors are often a by-product of romance addiction. "fix" may be an elaborate fantasy life not unlike the story line of a romance novel, or the euphoria of a new romance</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stageforum.blogspot.com/2015/04/we-try-to-find-in-other-what-we-have.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/339645927_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stageforum.blogspot.com/2015/04/we-try-to-find-in-other-what-we-have.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">We try to find in the other what we have discarded in ourselves.</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stageforum.blogspot.com/2015/06/we-are-all-creators-at-stages-and.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/350089414_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stageforum.blogspot.com/2015/06/we-are-all-creators-at-stages-and.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">We are all creators at the stages, and whether we are creating positively or negatively</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/05/rewiring-and-accessing-mind-through.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/340776161_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagesevents.blogspot.com/2015/05/rewiring-and-accessing-mind-through.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Rewiring and Accessing the Mind through the Intuitive voice</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://recoverystage.blogspot.com/2015/05/children-who-were-abused-grow-into.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/noimg_44_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://recoverystage.blogspot.com/2015/05/children-who-were-abused-grow-into.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Children who were abused grow into teens and adults that feel flawed, inferior, worthless, hopeless, inadequate, dirty, overwhelmed with deep shame, depressed, anxious, extreme loneliness, helpless and afraid. They have low self-esteem and self-worth, agg</a></li> </ul> </div>

We compensated for lack of nurturing as a child by immersing ourselves in fantasy

We compensated for lack of nurturing as a child by immersing ourselves in fantasy. Fantasies of being rescued or being the rescuer...

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In each of us, there is a young, suffering child. We have all had times of difficulty as children and many of us have experienced trauma.

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjikb06u473Y16k-xVvj68Z2PSsGF0la1pipaPdyO3HyuzLTGKWkoh9Pdsly7TMX3TMVR3t_WSx7eryl4uGD2ZAVASBPK8lmrTKL9ybSZLi53s-A_833x1Y_qAaOoL3vbGa_67JDvlBMUkQ/s1600/imagecw123.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjikb06u473Y16k-xVvj68Z2PSsGF0la1pipaPdyO3HyuzLTGKWkoh9Pdsly7TMX3TMVR3t_WSx7eryl4uGD2ZAVASBPK8lmrTKL9ybSZLi53s-A_833x1Y_qAaOoL3vbGa_67JDvlBMUkQ/s1600/imagecw123.png" /></a></div> The cry we hear from deep in our hearts, comes from the wounded child within. Healing this inner child’s pain will transform negative emotions.<br /><br /><br />In each of us, there is a young, suffering child. We have all had times of difficulty as children and many of us have experienced trauma. To protect and defend ourselves against future suffering, we often try to forget those painful times. Every time we’re in touch with the experience of suffering, we believe we can’t bear it, and we stuff our feelings and memories deep down in our unconscious mind. It may be that we haven’t dared to face this child for many decades.<br /><br /><br />But just because we may have ignored the child doesn’t mean she or he isn’t there. The wounded child is always there, trying to get our attention. The child says, “I’m here. I’m here. You can’t avoid me. You can’t run away from me.” We want to end our suffering by sending the child to a deep place inside, and staying as far away as possible. But running away doesn’t end our suffering; it only prolongs it.<br /><br /><br />It is through having the courage and willingness to revisit the emotional dark night of the soul that was our childhood, that we can start to understand on a gut level why we have lived our lives as we have. <br /><br />It is when we start understanding the cause and effect relationship between what happened to the child that we were, and the effect it had on the adult we became, that we can Truly start to forgive ourselves. It is only when we start understanding on an emotional level, on a gut level, that we were powerless to do anything any differently than we did that we can Truly start to Love ourselves. <br /><br /><br />The hardest thing for any of us to do is to have compassion for ourselves. As children we felt responsible for the things that happened to us. We blamed ourselves for the things that were done to us and for the deprivations we suffered. There is nothing more powerful in this transformational process than being able to go back to that child who still exists within us and say, It wasn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong, you were just a little kid. <br /><br />"As long as we are judging and shaming ourselves we are giving power to the disease. We are feeding the monster that is devouring us. <br />We need to take responsibility without taking the blame. We need to own and honour the feelings without being a victim of them. <br /><br /><br />We need to rescue and nurture and Love our inner children - and STOP them from controlling our lives. STOP them from driving the bus! Children are not supposed to drive, they are not supposed to be in control. <br /><br /><br />And they are not supposed to be abused and abandoned. We have been doing it backwards. We abandoned and abused our children within. Locked them in a dark place within us. And at the same time let the children drive the bus - let the children's wounds dictate our lives.

In each of us, there is a young, suffering child. We have all had times of difficulty as children and many of us have experienced trauma.

The cry we hear from deep in our hearts, comes from the wounded child within. Healing this inner child’s pain will transform negative emot...

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Our child within has had to learn to cope with erratic parenting or no parenting at all.

<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> Our child within has had to learn to cope with erratic parenting or no parenting at all.  Dad shouts, mum dies, or vice versa – the actual event is not material, the context is all.  Our child within has no physical defence, so they devise a mental one – “this isn’t happening to me”. </span><br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkjJNnfoKR0Nh6AyzXB6c6-Me7N1crw0lw_kMd5Ta5RJVGjEZOlju1qXyiU9V9d4ozeGOylZi4-b9qoP4oP80G97hRgLh27GBnkLeRU8_9Y2Tl4ckGfqZkqRtHwRInkyqN1dq0e89X/s1600/1-hope.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkjJNnfoKR0Nh6AyzXB6c6-Me7N1crw0lw_kMd5Ta5RJVGjEZOlju1qXyiU9V9d4ozeGOylZi4-b9qoP4oP80G97hRgLh27GBnkLeRU8_9Y2Tl4ckGfqZkqRtHwRInkyqN1dq0e89X/s200/1-hope.jpg" width="190" /></a></div> Our Childs<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> survival strategies get prolonged into adulthood, and become  locked inside our Child Within where the mental defence has ceases to work ,  with the Ten Stages trustworthy emotional support, the child withins intuitional  thinking can be restored.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> our</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> thought processes can be really unclogged and we re-program ourselves?  Our gummed up thought processes disappear as we make contact with others, because the child within ‘thinks’ the trauma is still ‘alive’ in our head we are constantly looking for a solution that has ceased to work and is irrelevant to our adult reality.  The Stages can provide us with adequate trustworthy emotional support,  you will gradually gently persuade the child within that, the traumatic,</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">“this isn’t happening to me”</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> it’s over?  When this happens and we can access the child within.  We can start to unravel by doing the stages the traumas that ceased long ago – a fact that most adults simply don’t believe – we gradually catch up with our reality?  </span><br /> <div class="zemanta-related" style="clear: both; margin-top: 20px; overflow: hidden;"> <h4 class="zemanta-related-title"> Related articles</h4> <ul class="zemanta-article-ul zemanta-article-ul-image" style="margin: 0; overflow: hidden; padding: 0;"> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagescommunity.blogspot.com/2015/03/just-by-making-contact-with-child.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/336854350_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagescommunity.blogspot.com/2015/03/just-by-making-contact-with-child.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Just by making contact with the child within and that their is an attempt to make an empathetic listening environment that starts the process of building a new recovered self</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/05/we-are-not-adults-at-all.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/341513095_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/05/we-are-not-adults-at-all.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">We are not adults at all.</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/05/we-are-unwittingly-being-constantly.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/341513094_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/05/we-are-unwittingly-being-constantly.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">We are unwittingly being constantly influenced or covertly controlled by our unconscious child within.</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/05/we-all-suffer-from-social-dissociation.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/341513093_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/05/we-all-suffer-from-social-dissociation.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">We all suffer from social dissociation or joining the tribe.</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagescoursestudies.blogspot.com/2015/04/pre-course-recognition-of-child-within.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/337026886_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagescoursestudies.blogspot.com/2015/04/pre-course-recognition-of-child-within.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Pre-Course recognition of the child within beginning to understand the problems of truth and trust</a></li> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://recoverystages.blogspot.com/2015/04/we-encourage-students-to-become-real.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/337260152_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://recoverystages.blogspot.com/2015/04/we-encourage-students-to-become-real.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">We encourage students to become real adults by HEALING the wounds of their childhood.</a></li> </ul> </div>

Our child within has had to learn to cope with erratic parenting or no parenting at all.

 Our child within has had to learn to cope with erratic parenting or no parenting at all.  Dad shouts, mum dies, or vice versa – the actual ...

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Recovery Wild Children are addicts. We are addicted to dissociation.

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit29gn4MrSSQamCbxycr98g2XjaHR-utlZdf7myTDerERM-xJFDMcARIHuOVpzQVGt_vZ_QwxygAi2wRucKegRUAiu8Z00E6Q4ObT4As9xQXgaQieUVC825PWSzW9lPfFH4Wy87pG5lXnS/s1600/Child+within264.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit29gn4MrSSQamCbxycr98g2XjaHR-utlZdf7myTDerERM-xJFDMcARIHuOVpzQVGt_vZ_QwxygAi2wRucKegRUAiu8Z00E6Q4ObT4As9xQXgaQieUVC825PWSzW9lPfFH4Wy87pG5lXnS/s200/Child+within264.jpeg" width="200" /></a></div> <br /> <br /> Recovery Wild Children are addicts. We are addicted to dissociation.<br /> <br /> Several months ago we started  to wonder if the defences we commonly use could possibly be termed addiction. We knew they were habitual. We knew they happened spontaneously, like a reflex, without time for us to stop and reflect whether or not this was the response we wanted to use; we knew that when we tried to use other responses it was exceedingly difficult and required much continual work on our part.<br /> <br /> <i>We looked up addiction in online dictionaries: “The condition of being habitually or compulsively occupied with or involved in something.” </i><br /> <br /> That sounds accurate.”The state of being enslaved to a habit or practice.” Well, that certainly fits! “And the last one: “Habitual psychological and physiological dependence on a practice beyond one’s voluntary control.” That definition fit completely. We COULD NOT stop dissociating when we wanted to.<br /> <br /> We do not attach a moral judgment to the word “Addiction”. It is a simple statement of fact. We did not make the choice to voluntarily start using dissociation to get through life. We did not make the choice to continue to use it. We would not be alive today if I had not learned and used the skill of<br /> dissociation. But it is now beyond our control and is now unnecessary in our life. Naming this addiction gives us tools within the ten stages to use so we can let go of it. We are able to be more patient with ourself and more effective in overcoming it. When we acknowledge our Child Within.<br /> <br /> OK. So we knew we are still addicted. But exactly what are we addicted TO?<br /> <br /> Researching the term “dissociation” I found this definition by Dr. Bennett Braun: “the separation of an idea or thought process from the main stream of consciousness” (Braun, 1988). Everybody uses dissociation. People use it to screen out unnecessary stimuli. With un-traumatised people, this is a<br /> choice and not problematical. Any time a person is focused in on something to the exclusion of one or more aspects of present day reality, they are using dissociation. Everyone here has used this – perhaps when reading a book, or practicing a musical instrument, or figuring out income tax. That kind of dissociation is helpful<br /> <br /> Another way to think of dissociation is as a method of dealing with trauma by not knowing about it. The memory of events may be split into separate components. Dr. Bennett Braun developed the BASK model; an easy way to understand this. BASK stands for Behaviour, Affect, Sensation and Knowledge. If any one of these is missing in your memory of an event, then you are dissociating. “Behaviour” is the action associated with an event. For ourself, in times of stress, I find myself putting my hand on the back of my neck. I would do this unknowingly, with no conscious memories or reasons.

Recovery Wild Children are addicts. We are addicted to dissociation.

Recovery Wild Children are addicts. We are addicted to dissociation. Several months ago we started  to wonder if the defences we commo...

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Are you living your life reacting to old wounds from your childhood?

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkjJNnfoKR0Nh6AyzXB6c6-Me7N1crw0lw_kMd5Ta5RJVGjEZOlju1qXyiU9V9d4ozeGOylZi4-b9qoP4oP80G97hRgLh27GBnkLeRU8_9Y2Tl4ckGfqZkqRtHwRInkyqN1dq0e89X/s1600/1-hope.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkjJNnfoKR0Nh6AyzXB6c6-Me7N1crw0lw_kMd5Ta5RJVGjEZOlju1qXyiU9V9d4ozeGOylZi4-b9qoP4oP80G97hRgLh27GBnkLeRU8_9Y2Tl4ckGfqZkqRtHwRInkyqN1dq0e89X/s200/1-hope.jpg" width="190" /></a></div> Are you living your life reacting to old wounds from your childhood? <div> <br /></div> <div>  Old wounds that keep you telling yourself that you are never good enough, smart enough, worthy enough, beautiful enough, or perfect enough?<br /> <br />Take twenty minutes to be within yourself and connect with your Child Within. Your Child Within has always been with you but may have shut down long ago. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div>  Your Child Within is the expression of you that is free, innocent, playful and lovable. Your Child Within longs for you to love, protect and care for her, or him. <br /> <br />When you spend time with your Child Within , you will notice that you stop rejecting yourself with negative mind chatter. <br /> <br />Become the loving, accepting parent to your Child Within and watch as your life unfold in miraculous ways.<br /><br /> </div>

Are you living your life reacting to old wounds from your childhood?

Are you living your life reacting to old wounds from your childhood?   Old wounds that keep you telling yourself that you are never goo...

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The deepest core feelings of the child within are grief, toxic shame and loneliness.

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkjJNnfoKR0Nh6AyzXB6c6-Me7N1crw0lw_kMd5Ta5RJVGjEZOlju1qXyiU9V9d4ozeGOylZi4-b9qoP4oP80G97hRgLh27GBnkLeRU8_9Y2Tl4ckGfqZkqRtHwRInkyqN1dq0e89X/s1600/1-hope.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkjJNnfoKR0Nh6AyzXB6c6-Me7N1crw0lw_kMd5Ta5RJVGjEZOlju1qXyiU9V9d4ozeGOylZi4-b9qoP4oP80G97hRgLh27GBnkLeRU8_9Y2Tl4ckGfqZkqRtHwRInkyqN1dq0e89X/s200/1-hope.jpg" width="190" /></a></div> <div style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #222222; font-family: edmondsans, Helmet, Freesans, Tahoma, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> <span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">The deepest core feelings of the child within are grief, toxic shame and loneliness. We were traumatised by our parents abandoning us. We feel we are bad, as if we’re contaminated, and that shame leads to loneliness. Since our child within feels flawed and defective, We have to cover up our true child within with our adapted, false self. We then come to identify ourself by our false self. Our true self the child within remains alone and isolated.Forever seeking answers for its abandonment.<br /><br /><br />Staying with this last layer of painful feelings is the hardest part of the grief process. It’s hard to stay at that level of shame and loneliness; but as we embrace these feelings, we come out the other side. We encounter the child within that’s been in hiding. You see, because we hid it from others, we hid it from ourselves. In embracing our shame and loneliness, we begin to touch our child within..<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: edmondsans, helmet, freesans, tahoma, geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">Related articles</span></span></div> <div class="zemanta-related" style="clear: both; margin-top: 20px; overflow: hidden;"> <ul class="zemanta-article-ul zemanta-article-ul-image" style="margin: 0; overflow: hidden; padding: 0;"> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagescoursestudies.blogspot.com/2015/04/joining-ten-stages-study-starts.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/336853603_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; 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The deepest core feelings of the child within are grief, toxic shame and loneliness.

The deepest core feelings of the child within are grief, toxic shame and loneliness. We were traumatised by our parents abandoning us. We...

Read more »

A denied, wounded and rage-filled child within runs our lives. As a result, we cannot act in our best interests. We are not sustainable in our recovery.

<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFPrGsjzE1miil6ooNnE9AHzIzhOYjty-loiRYsqRtuu1fiP8cnn_Vn1hgdkOBd8BUX_VkKvgwnT-xSIyRHnHY5btrtCfhxubbvnYZ3ttVnalZXrrDCYXh0ssgjwniG9FworrRMssRaGls/s1600/1-1-The+Ten+Stages234-007.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFPrGsjzE1miil6ooNnE9AHzIzhOYjty-loiRYsqRtuu1fiP8cnn_Vn1hgdkOBd8BUX_VkKvgwnT-xSIyRHnHY5btrtCfhxubbvnYZ3ttVnalZXrrDCYXh0ssgjwniG9FworrRMssRaGls/s200/1-1-The+Ten+Stages234-007.jpg" width="129" /></a></div> <span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #373737; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 24.375px;"> We see how a few of us struggle with great diligence and anguish to heal the traumas we carry.  We also see that most of us don’t, and remain destructive toward ourselves and the world around us.  Instead of healing our wounds we pass on ancestral poison from generation to generation and misname this madness human nature—or we don’t question our behaviour at all.  We are ruled by trauma—not truth.  </span></span></span><br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <span style="color: #373737; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">A denied, wounded and rage-filled child within runs our lives.  As a result, we cannot act in our best interests.  We are not sustainable in our recovery.</span><br /> <div class="zemanta-related" style="clear: both; margin-top: 20px; overflow: hidden;"> <h4 class="zemanta-related-title"> Related articles</h4> <ul class="zemanta-article-ul zemanta-article-ul-image" style="margin: 0; overflow: hidden; padding: 0;"> <li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://addictionportal.blogspot.com/2015/05/the-ten-stages-see-how-few-of-us.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/342557897_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; 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A denied, wounded and rage-filled child within runs our lives. As a result, we cannot act in our best interests. We are not sustainable in our recovery.

 We see how a few of us struggle with great diligence and anguish to heal the traumas we carry.  We also see that most of us don’t, and re...

Read more »